Sometimes

"Sometimes meaningless gestures are all we have"

We can't all be rocket scientists or discover the secrets to the universe....but we all have meaning and purpose. Some days you're the rat..some days you're the cheese. Some days it's best to just turn off the alarm and cover your head and not get out of bed. Some days you sparkle and shine and can do no wrong! All in all it beats not being in the obits or being pregnant!!!

Texans

There are three kinds of people in this world:
1. Those born and raised in Texas...
2. Those who have moved to Texas...
3. Those who want to move to Texas...

Whew!!

Megan, age 5 has decided she is too big for a bath with her 3 1/2 year old sister, Mandy. She wanted a shower today. She wanted a shower today WITH me! I tried as hard as I could to talk her out of it but no dice. We get the water warmed up and naked and we get in the shower. Just as we are getting wet, Megan informs me, 'did you know you can pee in the shower?". I laughed and said yes. I let her wash her own hair and while I was rinsing it for her, she proceeds to poke and prod all my body parts telling me what they are and ask me why various body parts are the way they are. After shuffling back and forth sharing the water and her inspecting my job of shaving my legs and oohing and aahing how smoothe my legs are, I got out. Megan decided to stay in the shower and sing...or rather yell. After enough of that, I reached in and turned off the water and let her dry herself off by herself for the first time. All in all, it was successful if you don't count the 3 gallons of water in the floor.

Thank you

Below is a thank you card I received from my boss on April 26, 2006. She's a joy to work with and for. I'm daily impressed by her enthusiasm, her knowledge and her awareness.

Dear Ruth--
Thanks so much for being such a hard worker and doing a good job for me and for our agency and clients. I really do appreciate you and our office would not be the same if you ever leave--- So you will have to stay until I'm gone - Deal? OK!!
Love,
DH

The thing about love...

The thing about love is that you don't get to choose. You just wake up one day and there it is, sitting at the foot of the bed going 'nyah, nyah, GOTCHA!' and there's not a damned thing you can do about it!

Back to you

Always act as if what you do will come back to you. Because in one way or another, it will.

Freely give your love, kindness, compassion, value and understanding to life. All those good things will grow in depth and magnitude, and then they will return to you.

You may think at times that no one is watching, and that no one cares one way or another what you do. Yet even when no one is watching, especially when no one is watching, you are making a difference in the world.

And as time goes on, the gifts you give to life become magnified. They spread far beyond you.

Eventually, they spread so far that they cannot help but come back to you. So be sure to start each influence on its journey in the best, most positive way.

Live each moment as if the words you speak, the thoughts you think, and the actions you undertake will come back to you. For they will surely do so, bigger than you could ever imagine.

Ralph Marston


I couldn't have said this better!

Grandmother Time

Friday nights is grandmother time here at my apartment. I pick up my two grand daughters, Mandy and Megan, ages 3 1/2 and 5 at daycare on Friday's around 5. They slam into me with abandon squeeling my name and hug and kiss me. It's awesome! We gather their stuff and get in my van and go to the grocery store for Cheetos and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. What decent grandmother can she be if not for these two items? If I don't pick something up for supper at the store that they are asking for, we go out to eat. They don't eat what they order and it's a total waste of money to take them, but the time we spend at a nice restaurant is special talk time.

Then we run any errands that need to be done and we come home and get our jammies on and play. And play. And play. And play. Their most important thing to do is the three of us lay on my bed and I tickle them. It has to be my hand up in the air and slowly, ever so slowly come down while they watch my hand coming down and squeeling 'no, no, no' till I make noises and tickle them. Over and over and over. We then get out the playdoh or crayons or paints or sewing or whatever new I'm introducing them to and we make stuff until there is such a mess made that it looks like a tornado hit the place.

Next is the Cheetos and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough time. Megan on the sofa and Mandy on my rocker-recliner and some gory crime show. The more blood and guts the show has, the better the girls like it and the more I have to explain what part of the human anatomy that particular part comes from. Sometimes they get up and play later and sometimes they fall asleep. Sometimes we all three pile into bed and read. The best part is when they tell me it's time to go to sleep. They each start telling me they love me and I tell them I love them over and over and over. Sleeping with two wigglyworms is an experience all on it's own. I've finally mastered sleeping with a knee in my back or both rolling up under me. Actually, it's more like I pass out than sleep. Mandy is like me with vivid dreams all night long and talking in her sleep. They both get thirsty all night long. Sometimes I just wake up and watch them sleep. I know these days are numbered and all too soon they will be grown, but for now I watch two angels sleeping.

I wake early and enjoy the quiet and let them sleep till they wake on their own. Next is cartoon time and of course waffle time and we start the day. Baths, doing their hair and polishing nails and girlstuff. We play until they leave at around 5:30 or so when my daughter gets off work and comes to pick them up. By this time, I'm glad to see the door shut and sit and listen to the quiet for a bit till I get up and clean up the tornado.

The memories we're making! I wouldn't trade them for all the tea in China!

From my friend Jen...

"My friend Ruth asked me to describe her in one word. I don't think I can but I will do it in many. I would first say "Bitch"!! but I mean that in a loving way. Sister comes to mind. Dear friend... She is always there for me... listens to me vent...even slaps me when I need it. Ruth is a very special woman. She has a heart of gold and would do anything for me or anyone for that matter. Loving.. Ruth's capacity to love is beyond belief as a mother, grandma, lover and friend.. I guess if I had to choose one word I would have to say: Amazing. I love you Ruth..."

All I can add to this is that Jen is looking into her mirror and saying what I see as her reflection.

So long as you are young....

In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, and courage, so long are you young. When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, and then only, are you grown old.
--General Douglas MacArthur

A Real Woman

"To a real woman, any ejaculation is premature."

Enough said...

Dragons

“Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” G. K. Chesterton

We all have our dragons to slay. Sometimes they seem so much bigger than life itself...we are paralyzed until we sort it out in our heads and slay the current dragon...sometimes we look back at the dragons we've slayed and think maybe they weren't such big dragons after all. A dragon to a child may seem trivial to us adults, but they are dragons none the less. Some people are consumed by their dragons and go no further in their growth. Some people just need a push to slay their dragons or stay on course...I'm very lucky to have loyal friends who either hold my hand and heart while I slay my dragons.....or they are right beside me with sword in hand...

Six Things About Me

I asked my friend JDR to write how he saw me. Since I'm putting words written to me and about me, it's only fair to include what he wrote. This one feels so personal maybe because he is currently my friend...don't know...

Compassionate - Always putting others needs as a priority

Caring = No matter how you feel, always asking about others and taking care of them.

Funny - Always joking or playing pranks on friends and acquaintances

Intelligent - We can talk intelligently about any subject and don't matter who is more informed

Fantastic Lover - Definitely the most open and honest woman I've ever been with.

Artistic - Your interest and active need for art is refreshing and interesting, Constantly challenging me to learn more

What I wrote to my friend D today...

I was weeding out and reading old conversations we've had over the years and it's overwhelming at times your patience, love and loyalty you've given me over the past several years DH. You kept saying I've done all the work...but I disagree whole heartedly! YOU my friend, have given me a safe place to grow, live, love, try and succeed, try and fail and most of all, loyalty. I don't think I've been that kind of friend to you in the recent past....being so absorbed by my life/troubles/day to day life and I whole heartedly apologize. YOU have made a difference in this woman's life and I thank you for this. I love you DH...you've shown me understanding...see Corinthians

Conversation After Giving Me My 'Template'

D: did you get my email reply?
R: just now...brb
D: k
R: back....I agree
R: physically on the top of my list is someone who touches and kisses and holds...calmly and passionately
R: second on my list would be laughter and friendship and loyalty
R: third on my list would be someone I could lean on when needed
R: fourth would be all that you say....he would have to be a strong person to handle me...handle accepting me
R: but
R: I have a whole lot to offer in return....and would gladly give all of me
R: I would like to be enough
D: Wouldn't we all
R: well....might as well ask for more than not enough which is what I've done in the past
D: indeed
D: you've asked for little and settled for less.
R: yeppers
R: each time I HAVE gotten something out of it all....learned some lessons....
D: That's called personal growth. Something you've been doing while JD has simply been trying, without success, to 'adapt' to your changing state
R: you think I should feel sympathy for JD?
D: sympathy? no. pity, yes
D: Sympathy implies a willingness to share his state.
R: he says he doesn't think he can give me what I need.....but I see it as an excuse for him to not even try
R: we live up to or down to our's and other's expectations
R: he's living down to his
D: he's also living down to your expectation of him. Very convenient
R: that I don't expect more of him?  let him slide?
D: LOL, I've listened to you. for a couple years now negotiate failure with JD
R: very true
D: You have never tried to negotiate success.
R: it's moot at this point....but I am learning....
D: It isn't moot. There is another 'JD' waiting to fill his shoes..
R: I don't think there has been any negotiations....that it's been me settling for nothing
R: true....and I don't want another john or paul or dave or ben
D: No, it's been negotiated. Here's a life lesson...one can always negotiate success because failure WILL happen to some degree or another and it's best to have your goals ready to meet rather than negotiating failure where success will never happen
R: that's what I'm attempting to do inside my head...get my goals set....a clearer idea of what sort of partner I want and need
D: yes. And don't settle for the first dick that happens to feel good up your cunt
R: I can have those any time
D: You can ALWAYS have sex, Ruthie. You are a fuck machine in that regard. But having love is something you've decided against including thus far....you've not loved yourself enough to accept that another can TOTALLY love you, so you've not looked.
R: very true....but there is getting to be an edge here in me that is starting to love myself..
R: don't know if it's confidence....
D: yes, I agree, it's growing there
D: Confidence comes out of love of self...oddly, so does humilty
D: true humility
R: or willing to accept myself....and actually admitting to myself that I have good things to offer
D: Have you ever done a spiritual gifts assessment?
R: nope...didn't know there was such a thing
D: Yes there is...http://www.churchgrowth.org/cgi-cg/gifts.cgi

Insights to What/Whom I Need In My Life

A little over a year ago, I asked a very good friend of mine to tell me what sort of man would be the perfect man for me. I thought it would make my life simpler to have a 1, 2, 3 sort of blueprint list that I could check off and be able to accept or reject any possible man who comes into my life. This friend knows me inside and out. I don't think there is a thought I've had, have, or will have that he isn't aware of...good and bad. He's a loyal friend with insights that border on the epiphanies of life. I had saved what he wrote and I guess promptly forgot about it. Now, a year later, all he told me is as true today as it was a year ago. I read his words and think, geeze...if such a man existed, he must be one hell of a man...till I realized...I'm one hell of a woman! I give as good as I get...and if such a man gave me what I need, he would get a bargain at half the price. My friend didn't hold back any punches....and he is oh so directly on target:

'Ruth,
Thank you for sharing with me. It sounds as though you've out grown
JD...and all other men like him. In out growing that sort of 'man' you have yet to adjust your template for what you want in a man, hence your asking me for your perfect man...you recognize the need for a 'template' by which you can 'fit' a man to your needs, desires, wants, goals. Not an easy task for the best of us, much less your humble servant. Frankly, I cannot provide you with that template because to do so would be to firstly, provide you with goals that may not be yours, however insightful they may be, if you don't 'own' the goals, they aren't yours. Secondly, as much as I am able to share your feelings, I am not you and can only provide you with my own view rather than that internal viewpoint that counts...your own. I can offer some small insights into who 'you' are though and in doing so, perhaps provide you some input for what a man would be like who would not only tolerate you, but desire, love, cherish who you are.
Here we go:

1. He must be tolerant of your foibles and kinks, not only sexual but your 'groove' in life. You are, as they say, 'set in your ways' as most of us are at this age. We don't like change much and tolerate our nests being disturbed even less.

2. He must appreciate your many gifts and recognize as you do that they are from God and being so, precious and sacred. These gifts include your love of family, your creative talents, and yes, your sexuality.

3. He must provide you with that sense of security that you so desperately need and desire. Security for you is measured, not necessarily by dollars, but rather by a mate's willingness to travel the road with you, including the frequent pauses for fucking each others brains out.

4. He must share your theology. You have no idea how important sharing the same view of God and the universe is in a relationship. This is the single most ignored, sloughed off, disregarded aspect of a relationship in our secular age, yet, if you do not share God, then you will not be sharing in each other.

5. He must, having recognized numbers 2-4, treasure you as a blessing in his life and become a blessing in yours in all the same dimensions.

6. He must have the ability to sit you down and call you on matters, then be able to work through them with you in humility with love. A mate who can't call you on things is worthless. So are friends.

7. He must be physically capable of meeting most of your sexual needs, though those would diminish considerably (IMHO) were the above items tended to and met. He can't be a slouch in the fucking department in any event.

8. He must be honest both with you and with himself and with God. That doesn't mean he is George Washington, what it does mean is he's wiling to suffer being caught and repent and forgive in humility, same as you do.

9. He must have humility. This is a tough one as we all struggle for survival using our egos as our chief survival tool. This is not to say he should be with out pride or self love, that, as you know, is necessary in order to proper love others, but he must be willing to admit error and ask for your love in spite of it.

10. He must love you, see Corinthians.

End of description

Better Mood Today

Well, I'm in a much better mood today. Not perfect...anger feels like having a three day hangover. It's not something I am practiced at dealing with. I guess everyone has their pity party from time to time and it was my time. I think about removing my blog entry from yesterday but maybe it's good to remember how crappy I can feel. Nothing has changed....not anyone to hold my hand through the rough times....but somehow for some reason I just keep surviving. Sure makes a person wonder about karma and free will and destiny and fate. One thing that has me baffled is that if I am working through a past life, what the heck did I do to deserve the crappy things that happen to me now? I must have been a real devil spawned bitch. Not good.

Thursday must be 'Venting' Day

I rarely get ticked off..but when I do, I pull out all the old thoughts and hurts and run them over and over again inside my head. I haven't done it out loud in over 35 years to anyone because I don't think it's fair. However, it doesn't mean I'm perfect inside my head and heart. I got ticked off at my apartment manager yesterday who is a stupid bimbo from hell and I let her have it with both barrells. I had made a $5 mistake on my rent....and I got a nasty letter from them demanding that I bring them a $5 money order or cashier's check. In 4 months, I will have been renting from this place for 6 years. My rent has always been on time and it's not like I'm going to move out in 2 days....my check has always been good. And, if I can't make a $5 check good, then I'm in serious trouble I figure. Anyway....back to venting.....I said some really harsh words to this gal and I'm ashamed and embarrassed by my behavior. It's not that I don't still feel these things are true, but I should have been a better person.

Ok, so of course here goes my mind racing at everything I'm pissed about. To put it simply, who the fuck cares about Ruth? I've been alone going on 6 years now. Not once in all this time has one person picked up the phone and called me to come spend a holiday with them. Not one person has ever called me up and wished me a happy birthday....a merry christmas....a happy valentine's day...happy easter...invited me to spend july 4th with them...hell, I can't even get someone to spend a whole weekend with me....much less invite me to spend it with them. Am I such horrible company?

Sometimes I realize that I do too much for people. I'm the one calling others up...I'm the one inviting them over for a home cooked meal...ok..ok..apartment cooked meal....used to host all the parties at my house....host lunches for my friends on a weekly basis....I call and wish happy birthday....I give the presents...I go help clean several friend's houses and have for years....I stay at work extra or work a day off so that others can spend time with their families...it's not like I have someplace to go or see.

Right now I'm worried how I'm going to come up with buying a vehicle for my daughter. She is doing her best to put a roof over her children's heads and food on the table. It's not easy and I know it....but she is plugging along so hard. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to come up with a place to buy or build....who is going to help me think it through? I get lonely....I get tired...I worry...I get sad...I get hurts....I cry believe it or not. Who holds me? Who wipes away my tears? Not one GD fucking person.

I do have two girlfriends and one male friend online who are at a great distance from me who will listen to me vent....but sure as hell is hard to feel arms around me from a computer screen.

Well...I'm empty...I'm done...finished. The fucking world can just go bite someone else's butt. I'm just empty right now.

Red Letter Day!!!

Today was a Red Letter Day!! I got a hug from one of the prettiest little old ladies I've ever seen. Beautiful alabaster skin...twinkly blue eyes...skin so soft you thought it was whipped cream...beautiful worn hands...an excitement in her step and an eagerness in her face to embrace life. She was in her mid 80's. I work with visually impaired people to help them stay independent and in their own homes. Seldom are my clients completely blind. Usually they have an eye disease that's at least lets them see light.

This lady today, was brought in to our office by her daughter to see what we could do to help her. She just wanted to read again...that's all. My boss and I helped her with magnifiers, enrolled her in a program to receive free books (on loan) delivered to her door, free directory assistance, means to write grocery lists...sign a check...sew on a button... Empowerment over her own life! Oh the look on her face that she could read again! The good news is that we have magnifiers that will help her for years to come.... When she left our office...she had a smile on her face Texas big! She reached up and hugged me (and I'm not a tall woman!!) and couldn't thank me enough. She asked her daughter if she would take her to get some quilt fabric...she was going to sew!!! Being an avid reader and my love of sewing, I knew how she felt.

What a wonderfully fulfilling day!!

Little Skinny Long Stink Bug

Yesterday when I went to lunch...there was this strange bug on my windshield. A tough little shit! It was real windy plus the wind of the moving car. He really hung on. He would relax when I stopped but then when I started up again....he would stretch his little funny legs like he was bracing himself for a hurricane. He'd stretch first one leg and then another. It took him a little bit since he had 6 legs. When I would stop, he would scratch his little butt with his hindlegs. I don't know where he got on my windshield. He ended up at work and I wondered if he would miss his family and where he thought he was. I thought maybe he was on my windshield when I left work but I'm not for sure. If so, he went 5 miles one way and 5 miles back. If he left work with me...then he was back where he started and he would be in familiar territory. I watched that bug all the way. He probably went home and told the wife and kids what an amazing adventure he had!!

Dreaming In Color

Last night, I was dreaming that I invented Nell's Nipple Cream. I was working on getting it on the market. I had a whole line of creams. I couldn't top Boudreaux's Butt Cream tho. Believe it or not, there IS such a thing as Bourdreaux's Butt Cream...named exactly thus. I can buy it locally. It's made for baby's butts.

I was in this house getting ready to take a shower. JR was there and had just taken a shower...was getting ready for us to go somewhere important and I had not gotten my shower yet. I had to go to the bathroom and was almost out of toilet paper and I was realizing that I was in a really fancy house with 5 bathrooms. I was counting up the rolls of toilet paper and figured with that many bathrooms, I was going to have to buy a lot more! So then it was time to take my bath. We had a big red jacuzzi and it had been full of water and I was looking forward to soaking....but JR had pulled the plug and it was draining fast. I tried to get him to quit draining it but he told me no and that it was my punishment to have to bathe in what water was left and rapidly leaving.

Yes, I dream in color.

Ok, so the dream goes on and on..I'm aware of everything there...who all is in my dream....(Rodina was there also asking me questions.) The point I'm wanting to make is that I have very vivid active dreams. I always have. My very first memory of my life was waking up from a nightmare and by the rest of the memories, I had to have been under 18 months as my brother wasn't born yet. Back to the subject at hand.

I seem to have several lives. I have my dream life, my work life, my family life, my friend's life, my lover's life, my pottery/craft life and my online life. Probably more. I seem to solve a lot of my problems in my dreams. Many times I wake up with an 'ahaaa' not believing it's all so simple! I enjoy my dreams on the most part. They are very entertaining. One small 'problem' is that also in my awake state, I am inside my head thinking and dreaming. It's all so natural to me to be thinking of literally 7 different things at once. I certainly dream 7 different dreams all at once. The biggest problem with all of this I feel, is getting my thoughts out into words where I am clear and get my point across to others. This blog is helping. I just wished I knew what I was writing....for I am seeing the words at the same time as I'm writing. Later on, I think of what I should have said....how the outcome would be so different. Then...I'm back into that dream world and the conversations with myself inside my head. As I said earlier in this entry....I enjoy my dreams and my thoughts. It's all very entertaining!

Faith

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things unseen." ~ Hebrews 11:1

Listen...Really Listen

"When in conversation with one another do we listen for the meaning and the heart behind what one is saying... or do we stop at face value?"
Anon

Top Things I Can Do If I Stay Single and Alone...

No matter what:
1. I can sleep when I please
2. I can eat what I please
3. I can fart without having to say excuse me
4. I can snore as loudly and as much as I want
5. I don't have to cook if I don't want to
6. I don't have to clean
7. I can come and go as I please
8. No one to disagree with me
9. No one will argue with me
10. I can talk to myself outloud
11. I can decorate my space to please me
12. I can listen to music I enjoy
13. I can cuss and use 'dirty' words to my heart's content
14. I can scratch where it itches
15. I can drink out of the pitcher
16. I can burp without saying excuse me
17. I can stay up as late as I want
18. I can get up as early as I want
19. I can own as many computers as I want
20. I can be on my computers any time I want
21. I can be online as much as I want
22. I can make mistakes
23. I can pick my nose if I want to
24. I can masturbate if I want to
25. I can make messes
26. I can listen to the same song over and over and over and over again
27. I don't have to 'dumb up' for anyone
28. My thoughts/opinions count
29. I can write any damned thing I want to
30. I can play solitaire as much as I want
31. I can be as brave as I want to
32. I can be as afraid as I want to
33. I can cry
34. I can laugh at stupid stuff
35. I can be sentimental
36. I can be happy
37. I can be angry
38. I can go after my dreams

Sadly tho....I can't share any of this stuff with anyone if I'm alone....

Eternally ungrateful???

I remember when I was in my 20s, how badly I wished I owned a house. I also remember wanting so desparately that I wanted to be single. I was in my first marriage and so very miserable.

I've since learned some other things along this subject. It's just human nature to want what we don't have...especially if given a shopping cart and freedom. If we're single, we want to be married...if we own a home, we want to live in a carefree apartment. If we see something on tv..we want it!

For myself...I can basically have what I want. Nothing extra...but safely can have the basics. For my daughter and grand daughters, I wish for financial security and a decent job where they don't 'run over her'. For my friends, I wish for more time that they all have to be with me. I remember my former husband joking to me saying 'the only time you ever say no is when I ask you if you've had enough'. HELL NO!!!

A day in the life of some memories

I can't quit crying and I need to get this out... this is gonna sound really really stupid....but there is no accounting for emotions:

My daughter's van had to be taken in this morning to be looked at and maybe fixed. My ex took me to work. J picked me up. Right off the bat stupid stuff kept happening but no big deal. He had offered to loan me his old Bronco that he's going to sell for a couple of days so I said thanks. The Bronco needed it's inspection so I took it up to Jiffy Lube to get it inspected...It stalled on me once but started right up... Got the inspection done and it wouldn't start...I figured it had been sitting too long. Anyway, I called J...he was only about 10 blocks away at the time. Got the Bronco going so I took it to his house for him to check it over. I only waited a little while till he got home. Well here's the deal... he didn't yell at me... he didn't accuse me of doing something wrong.... he didn't assume I was stupid and messed something up..he didn't get upset.... he just sweetly took care of it and was more concerned that I might have gotten stranded. I was fine. It felt so damned good watching him take care of the car. I have never had anything so sweet happen to me. Then I came home and just fell apart. I couldn't stop crying from being so overwhelmed. I had forgotten all the years of being yelled at and criticized. It was like I couldn't handle being treated so nicely. How did I expect to be treated? I have to admit that I was actually scared to call J to tell him that the car wouldn't start....not realizing I was scared. What a relief it was when I got home. When I got home I was exhausted....I felt like I had just been in a war. I cried so hard for over an hour....like there was no end to the hurt and crying. Tears still come just trying to write this. This fucking shit doesn't ever seem to go away....the memories catch up to you. It never occurred to me that I would have this reaction. I spent 52 years of being afraid...of being abused. I thought it was over. Thankfully, it is over as far as my life is concerned now....just will take a long time to forget...


Addendum: I got to thinking more about things and added the following: I'm still crying and I'm still overwhelmed, but at least I've had my say. If in Megan's or Mandy's life or their children or their children....and they read my words and my words make a difference, then my words are worth it.

There were four main people who have verbally abused me since my first memories and continued until the last man who lived with me until 10 months ago left. With all four of the people who have verbally abused me....different family members and friends have witnessed it. Not one person ever spoke up for me. Not one. Oh...they would tell me separately not to take the abuse... or they would tell me what assholes the abuser was, but not one would confront those four people. Yes I needed to grow a spine, and I have....but always I secretly wished that one person would stick up for me.

So many people don't understand the ramifications of abuse. It's not the physical abuse...the sexual abuse...the emotional abuse nor the verbal abuse alone that is so damaging. You become to believe that since everyone does this to you, then they must be correct. You take the abuse. When people who purport to love and care for you don't stick up for you....then there is more damage seemingly to confirm your worthlessness. This isn't right. I will not ever put up with this behavior again...neither the abuse nor the unspoken words of speaking out to the abuser against their actions. I will always admire and try to emulate people of character who are not afraid to speak out.

Love is not something that happens at first sight ...

I ran across an excellent blog this morning! Every word worth reading!
http://kshitijhinger.blogspot.com


Love is not something that happens at first sight ...

Love is not something that
happens on first sight,
it happens when u start
knowing each other and
in turn end up needing each other,
for every feeling,
for every thought and for every
moment ...

It is case for me ...
I can only hope and
wish its same for you ...