Conversation After Giving Me My 'Template'

D: did you get my email reply?
R: just now...brb
D: k
R: back....I agree
R: physically on the top of my list is someone who touches and kisses and holds...calmly and passionately
R: second on my list would be laughter and friendship and loyalty
R: third on my list would be someone I could lean on when needed
R: fourth would be all that you say....he would have to be a strong person to handle me...handle accepting me
R: but
R: I have a whole lot to offer in return....and would gladly give all of me
R: I would like to be enough
D: Wouldn't we all
R: well....might as well ask for more than not enough which is what I've done in the past
D: indeed
D: you've asked for little and settled for less.
R: yeppers
R: each time I HAVE gotten something out of it all....learned some lessons....
D: That's called personal growth. Something you've been doing while JD has simply been trying, without success, to 'adapt' to your changing state
R: you think I should feel sympathy for JD?
D: sympathy? no. pity, yes
D: Sympathy implies a willingness to share his state.
R: he says he doesn't think he can give me what I need.....but I see it as an excuse for him to not even try
R: we live up to or down to our's and other's expectations
R: he's living down to his
D: he's also living down to your expectation of him. Very convenient
R: that I don't expect more of him?  let him slide?
D: LOL, I've listened to you. for a couple years now negotiate failure with JD
R: very true
D: You have never tried to negotiate success.
R: it's moot at this point....but I am learning....
D: It isn't moot. There is another 'JD' waiting to fill his shoes..
R: I don't think there has been any negotiations....that it's been me settling for nothing
R: true....and I don't want another john or paul or dave or ben
D: No, it's been negotiated. Here's a life lesson...one can always negotiate success because failure WILL happen to some degree or another and it's best to have your goals ready to meet rather than negotiating failure where success will never happen
R: that's what I'm attempting to do inside my head...get my goals set....a clearer idea of what sort of partner I want and need
D: yes. And don't settle for the first dick that happens to feel good up your cunt
R: I can have those any time
D: You can ALWAYS have sex, Ruthie. You are a fuck machine in that regard. But having love is something you've decided against including thus far....you've not loved yourself enough to accept that another can TOTALLY love you, so you've not looked.
R: very true....but there is getting to be an edge here in me that is starting to love myself..
R: don't know if it's confidence....
D: yes, I agree, it's growing there
D: Confidence comes out of love of self...oddly, so does humilty
D: true humility
R: or willing to accept myself....and actually admitting to myself that I have good things to offer
D: Have you ever done a spiritual gifts assessment?
R: nope...didn't know there was such a thing
D: Yes there is...http://www.churchgrowth.org/cgi-cg/gifts.cgi