When does it start? When does it end?

When and how do we as females start to be insecure and feel badly about ourselves? When and how do we start our journey of low selfesteem? I see it in my grandchildren…their self doubt. Mandy when she started understanding the concept of ‘being bad’ and thinking she was a bad person because she had done something bad. Megan when she understands the struggle her mom is going through financially and that there just isn’t enough money at times. I can relate to both of these. For me, my journey started in the second grade so I had to have been about 8 years old. I had been given a hand-me-down red and white striped sailor suit from my aunt in New York City. The top was red and white striped with a red collar and tie. The pants were pedal pushers and in a matching solid red. How I loved wearing that outfit! I remember being on the playground one day wearing my outfit and it was tight on me. I remember automatically thinking and feeling I was ‘fat’. I remember shutting down and feeling not pretty or good enough or attractive as I was the only ‘fat’ girl in my school. Not once did it occur to me that I had simply outgrown the outfit. I’ve looked back at the school photo of it and of other photos of me at that age and I was a scrawny gangly kid. Not one ounce of fat was on my bones. Nonetheless, I’ve never shaken feeling insecure and unattractive from that day since.