Strong vs. Determined

strong - Pronunciation Key  (strông)
adj. strong·er, strong·est
1 Physically powerful
2 In good or sound health
3 Economically or financially sound or thriving
4 Having force of character, will, morality, or intelligence
5 Having or showing ability or achievement in a specified field
6 Capable of the effective exercise of authority
7 Capable of withstanding force or wear; solid, tough, or firm; Having great binding strength
8 Not easily captured or defeated
9 Not easily upset; resistant to harmful or unpleasant influences
10 Having force or rapidity of motion
11 Persuasive, effective, and cogent; Forceful and pointed; emphatic; Forthright and explicit, often offensively so
12 Extreme; drastic
13 Having force of conviction or feeling; uncompromising
14 Intense in degree or quality
15 Having an intense or offensive effect on the senses; Clear and loud; Readily noticeable; remarkable; Readily detected or received
16 Having a high concentration of an essential or active ingredient; Containing a considerable percentage of alcohol; Powerfully effective
17 Characterized by a high degree of saturation

Friends, family, acquaintances from time to time tell me I'm 'strong'. Things happen, some not to great..some devastating. I pick myself up. I don't see any other way to handle things. One foot in front of the other....I don't see a choice in the matter. Nothing has been so bad that it killed me so I wake up, start another day and move on. Sometimes I feel when someone says that I'm strong, I feel so weak and helpless inside but try not to let on how I'm feeling. How I long to be able to lean on someone on occassion...to just be held and let myself cry and be weak for a moment of time. I remember having this for about 10 minutes once. It felt good. Sometimes it feels like when someone tells me I'm strong, it's an excuse not to comfort me...to dismiss how I'm feeling so that the person who has told me this can go about their merry way and not have to deal with reaching out to me....go on about their perfect world and not have my mess in their lives.

Maybe I'm strong, maybe I'm not.....but I choose rather use the word 'determined' instead of strong.