Rollercoaster

I'm riding a dangerous rollercoaster again...dangerous for me..I know it...I seem to be riding it in a loop tho....I refuse to have my wings plucked again and again....maybe that's why I fight things so much...

I wrote the above to a very dear friend of mine and the below is what he wrote back to me....

Don't ever stop building your life..........you can opt for the generic "life kit" where one size is supposed to fit all, but doesn't, or you can custom build it, one piece at a time, with those things, people etc of your choosing..........keeping what works and discarding what doesn't.......there is no time limit on this project, and is only held in check by your imagination and desires..............of course the total custom "life " takes a bit more work and attention to detail, but is far superior to anything else out there..........I know yu would not be happy with the generic kit............so no matter what happens, you must continue to custom build your life........in your fashion, to suit your needs and wants, not those of others.

Feelings......hmmmm.......I have a few........every now and then I feel like talking about them.........like now.....I feel like a caged bird.......watching what you have and being jealous of it......not being able to get out of my cage to enjoy what you enjoy........but I have been working on one spot in the bars for a long time now, and have managed to get my head between them.....soon the shoulders will out , then the rest of the body will follow........but my mind had to come first......and you have showed me that it is truly possible to achieve this.........to step out of the cage, to live, to build my own custom life..........and to have the courage to overcome the fear of even trying it........I am no longer afraid.......and will start looking for the building blocks of this life....

It wont be easy........since you just cant waltz into hardware store and grab what you need off the shelf.........and the hardest part is the waiting.........want it all right now, but that cannot be.........so Patience, understanding, lots of searching and testing will be in order.........

Of course, the heart , spirit, mind, soul all have to be together in this endeavor, or it will not work...........like a chain with a weak link, so I have chosen to use only the finest most expensive material in building my Life........starting with friends............seems tome that is the most logical place to start.......without them, their understanding and support, I would be doomed to failure..........so I will start with the most precious and most valuable commodity know.....true friends

You Ruth are on that list of friends, as I know I will never be judged, ridiculed or demeaned by you...........oh yes, you will laugh with me at silly things I do or say, but you will not be laughing "at me"........therein lies the big difference.........a friend who loves someone in spite of their faults and can laugh about them without giving offense or ridicule


Well, I guess i have rambled on long enough for now.........hope some of this makes a tiny bit of sense........I guess I could have just said, thanks for being my friend and I will always be yours.........but it just didn't seem enough...........I am here for you babe........to unload on, laff with, cry with, or just to listen to what you have to say.........and my friendship, affection, and admiration for you as a free spirit will always be here as well and I hope you feel that you can call on me for moral support whenever you are in one of those moods and just want to vent ...........because I will be here........anytime.......day, night, sleet, snow..........anytime........friendships, true ones, have no boundaries, no limits.........and I feel ours is endless, like the heavens.........