Me

My thoughts about me and who I am...

born a Texan...raised a Texan
I don't like liars or judgemental people
pet peeve is people who pick their noses at stop lights
don't like bullies or abusive people
or people who don't try....
love chicken, cheese, spinach, avocadoes....mangoes...
don't like fresh tomatoes, turnips, liver or beans
my passions are clay,basketweaving/beading and people
I'm a very good potter but do it for me now instead of selling
I've been married three times
one daughter
two awesome natural grand daughters
have been abused pretty severely and still coming to terms with it
my reaction to this is blocking it out or being overly kind
have been used pretty badly and am learning not to be and why I made poor judgements
I will NOT be controlled
talk too much
listen too little
do not like injustice
not into pain
not into any hitting of any sort
not into humiliation
am blessed with many many wonderful friends
I can do just about any craft that there is
I've been in some sort of computer job since 1969
Own a Mac and love it
am retired
fart like a racehorse
snore like a sailor
kinky as shit at times….don’t let this part out often
am a great cook
optimist unfortunately
I get my feelings hurt easily
would rather cut out my tongue than hurt another
gets me into trouble
am an instigator of pranks
laugh a LOT
I cry a lot but am working on it
deeply religious
spiritual
lousy dresser
very poor taste in clothing
HATE shopping
hate to pick up bugs
LOVE music of many sorts
can't sing worth a hoot
enjoy people smarter than I
never wanted to be more than a mother and artist
am a genealogist
very good researcher
love to sit and visit with friends or think
am not a small woman but rathera large woman
as all women.....don't like my body
I used to struggle to make ends meet but have enough at this time to pay my own way
I do not like to let anyone pay my way
have never leaned on anyone....
am usually the one who is leaned upon
stubborn
obstinate
opinionated
uncontrollable
can be a bitch when needed
love cats and now dogs
love photography
love textures
love colors
love sex with the right person
nothing more awesome to me than to bury my face in my lover's neck
rub your face in it
can figure most anything out
have a very sharp tongue when riled
takes a LOT to rile me
love to read...am just now getting back to reading after 10 years
fav author is Lawrence Sanders
love history and biographies
any craft book or magazine
certain mysteries
I'm cunning and sly
I usually win....by hook or crook in most situations
I don't cheat at anything or on anyone
my daughter and I are together a genius
we took the Mensa test together
we passed
couldn't do it alone
love puzzles
I learned a long time ago that everyone is creative and intelligent in some things...some things not so hot.....doesn't really matter as long as they are nice people… every one is valuable in something....just have to find it sometimes
everyone was a newborn at one time and needed to be held....and everyone will be an old person needing to be held
sometimes I will refuse a challenge on principal
I was 52 before I was touched
before I let anyone touch me
I was what I figure about 18 months or less when I had a nightmare....
crawled up in my mother's lap to be comforted
as usual, she did not
I got down and said to myself that I would never let anyone touch me again
never wanted to go through that hurt
my brother and I don’t have one memory of being touched by our mother
when people would touch me, my skin would crawl
I would get sick inside
the only person I would let touch me was my younger brother and my daughter
then I one time I was touched for 4 days
it changed my life
I crave it
so...I picked husbands and friends who didn't touch
my loss
I was either beaten, sexually abused or verbally abused till I was 16.....you sort of put up a wall around you after that
earliest remembrances was about under 2
absolutely profound
it won't ever happen to me again in real life
not negotiable
the man who touched me broke my heart....I had a nervous breakdown over it
had some devastating affairs after that
but the last man finished breaking me
it won't happen again
I will not get into a situation where it is possible
I became empty and numb.....in the relationship department
I have my clay and my grandbabies and my hobbies...this will have to be enough
I've never been enough for anyone
never smart enough
never sexy enough
never loving enough
never cleaning enough
never cooking enough
nothing
I will be enough for ME
52 years of that shit is enough for one woman's lifetime
I will please myself
and my grandbabies
they are innocent
pretty bitter huh?
doesn't compute how I can feel towards people and yet shut them out
I have the capacity to be a friend....a really good friend but sometimes I can't give back
be there for them
help them
just can't give the last part of my heart
not enough prozac I think in this world to fix me
and yet I love and laugh and embrace life
sometimes I like putting on my blonde wig and just be silly
it's a conundrum