Melancholy

I'm feeling rather melancholy the last few days. I just wake up some days and there it is. I can't put my finger on it. Who knows why really? These things seem to come in cycles and I feel like it takes a while to sort through the emotional pile sometimes. I tend to push things aside and let them go until I can somehow make sense of them or deal with them. I'm doing a lot of dealing it seems right now.

I feel the deep and urgent need to pray but a lot of times it feels like I'm praying to a blank wall. I got the feeling last night that I wanted someone to pray with me. I got to thinking and wondering who do I know that I would trust with my truths who would pray with me? Actually I know several people who would be good with prayer with me but they don't know my truths and certainly I know they would judge me. There are some truths I don't think I could actually even write here. I have a few online friends who I know would pray with me, not judge me and would actually be perfect for me....but.....I feel the need to have the person here with me in person.