Soulfriends

We search for a soulmate in our lives and don't realize that we also can have soulfriends. Such a friend recently gave me this word. Grasping and understanding this word took me a few days to think on it and comprehend. I've had friends who have come in and out of my life, some for as little as a day and some for several years. There have been an uncountable amount and I remember each and every one. However, this entry is about my friends who have stayed in my life and we continue to grow. I've had soulfriends for better than 30 years and didn't realize exactly that they were soulfriends. Now I do.

My first soulfriend I met is Shirley. She taught me how to be a mother. My second one is Charlotte who taught me how to be a friend and not to judge people. My third soulfriend is Dian who taught me to be steady. Then came along Booger who taught me how to have compassion and fully accept a person for themselves totally without judgements. Next came along Jo Ann who taught me how to have/express/enjoy a zest for life and all the blessings this life has to offer.

I pretty well kept these as my only friends for so many years. Then I discovered the internet and chat. Even with these friends in my 'real' life, there were still parts of me that were hidden and secret. I was given several friends with whom I chatted with for anywhere from a night to many years. Through all of them, I gained insights. I learned about what makes other people tick and I also learned what made me tick. Some have been keepers. Margaret in New Zealand who taught me growth, is at the top of my list. Then there is Ann in Virginia and Warren in Saskatoon. These two taught me to love hard and fast and don't look back. One of my favorites is a young man in Toronto named Johnny. Johnny taught me how to value faithfulness to a love.

Later, I learned how to become friends with my children. Lisa through email, Rodina and Jeff through chat. I learned what awesome people they were! How they were so very loyal to me in their love. That I've been given unconditional love from these three young people and that they have shared their souls with me is about as good as it gets. They would be my friends even if they were not my children. I would choose them in a heartbeat.

My next friends started coming a few years ago and continues to this day. David was the first. He's given me understanding and a reconnection to God in my life. Jen has given me unconditional love. Sylvia has given me admiration and a backbone. Jerry has given me a steadfastness and keeps me on track. Elma has shown me what it takes to protect yourself and your children in the selflessness that a woman and mother has to do for herself and them. Toby has given me the ability to not give up. This is one young man who who would make me so angry that I could have strangled him through my computer if I could. Yet still, I could not give up on him...I could see the hugeness inside his heart if he would only let it out. I'm glad I stuck with him. Mike has given me selflessness. There are so many more but these are the main ones so far.

Brenda! Brenda came along and became my twin sister when I really needed her. She showed me to hold my head up in that no matter what she and I had done in the past, we are each fully equiped women who can survive. She also showed me that no matter the age of a person, one can find true love and embrace it selflessly and shamelessly while thanking God with every breath one takes.

Next, I met Paul...my friend PB. What a blessing! This man has held my hand and heart when I couldn't. Paul writes me words that uplift me and sustain me. He somehow knows my heart even when I don't.

Throw into this mix my cousin Earl. I've loved this man since I was 5 years old! Cousin/Brother/Friend. This man is loyal to me and only me! What a ride in life this has been with him. With Earl, I don't have to hide a thought, word or deed. He loves me when it seems all others have left.

Then I went and met Bob. Words sometimes pale when it comes to this friendship. Bob taught me the level of friendship beyond sex. I had this type of friendship with Booger before he committed suicide last year. I've missed him sorely. I now feel God has given me this part of my heart back through Bob. He taught me that even if I have to force the positive aspects in life, to do so and I will be at peace. In his words, 'it's all abut getting into another's head and heart'. Amen.

Now comes along Lonnie. He gave me the word 'soulfriends'. He's a new friend but has already given me the gift seeing my heart and embracing me through compassion. I'm looking forward to learning this friendship for years to come and see what the world unfolds.

Last but not least is my friend John. What this man has and is teaching me is beyond words sometimes. He's taught me integrity, laughter, about the inner workings of manhood and the sweetest love a human being can give another. He can out talk me, he can almost out 'onery' me and anything I throw at him and he not only accepts but celebrates who I am. I feel true solace with this man. John's a wonderful man with a magnanimous heart to give. Other than eating beans, this man is totally the best parts of me...the best parts of all the friends above. What a blessing God has given me in this man to know.