Sometimes...

I really don't want my blog to be negative and throwing all my hurts 'out there'... I'm not a motivational speaker so therefore it's not going to be a total discourse on the power of positive thinking.....But....sometimes I just hurt. Sometimes I'm just empty. Facing the fact that I am so utterly alone is overwhelming. Still, this aloneness is not nearly as lonely as being lonely in a marriage. There's no one who is going to hold my hand...hold me all night....wake with me and drink coffee. Sure, as most all single women, I can have my pick of scores of men who want me for sex....but they aren't going to stick around when they get the itch for a new woman. When one is single, you don't get invited over for supper by your friends....you don't get invited to the show...or shopping....or just plain hanging out. You become a leper to married couples.....single female friends are busy hustling some man to support them....and single male friends who you aren't putting out to either want help with something or they want to bare their souls with you, walk away happy only to become the man they once were and give all the good parts of him to another woman....the concept of him merely holding me while I bare my soul is not going to happen... Jaded? Yes. But more is that I'm so weary of showing myself to others....feeling for others and getting nothing in return. Sometimes it's worse that a tree falling in a forest....I fall in the forest and no one hears me.